


Shatter Me

by FlightoftheFantasies



Series: Shattered Dreams [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Cheating, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 14:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11443173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightoftheFantasies/pseuds/FlightoftheFantasies
Summary: How is it even possible to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship? And matters of the heart are never easy, especially when a choice has to be made.





	1. Chapter 1

‘They are at it again.’ Ainslee thinks with a sigh, watching her boyfriend laugh and joke around with the beautiful, Russian redhead Natasha.

Ainslee has nothing against Natasha, really, she is an amazing woman. She just hates how in every group setting, Bucky abandons her for Natasha. Sure, they have a lot in common and there is a history between them. But Natasha is not his girlfriend, she is. If he is just going to spend all of his time with the other woman then why is Ainslee even around? It is obvious that he could care less either way.

She gives another sigh, rubbing her temple.

“Hey, are you okay?”

The thick accented voice of Wanda Maximoff comes from her right, 

“Hi Wanda. I am fine, just feeling a headache coming on. I think I am going to head home. Will you let Bucky know?” she steals a glance at her boyfriend, “That is if he even notices or cares that I am gone.”

“Sure, feel better Ainslee.” Wanda answers, giving the older woman a hug. 

As Ainslee leaves, Wanda can feel the hurt and sadness rolling off of her in waves. She moves her stare over to Bucky and Natasha, shaking her head. Wanda feels bad for Ainslee, she does not deserve this type of treatment. It is just a matter of time before emotions boil over and Ainslee cannot take anymore; and there is no way for this to end on a good note. Someone is going to get their heart broken. 

When Ainslee arrives home, she changes into more comfortable clothing and curls up in her couch. She turns on the television finding some random show to distract her and to keep her thoughts from moving back to Bucky. She knows that if she gives herself the time to think about him then she would end up in an emotionally dark place, and she just is not going to do that to herself. So instead, she forces her mind to shut off and drowning out all thoughts with pointless television.   
She is unsure of how much time passes, but she is brought out of her trance by a knocking on her door.

“Who is it?” She calls out.

“It’s me. Open up.”

Bucky’s deep voice comes from the other side of the door. Ainslee opens the door, stepping to the side to let him in.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, going back to her seat on the couch.

“Wanda said you weren’t feeling well…”

She looks at the clock on the wall, “And so you rushed over to check on me two, almost three, hours after I left. Wow, you really do care don't you?”

He eyes her with a perplexed look on his face, “What is wrong with you? Where is that coming from?”

She just shrugs, not bothering to look at him. Ainslee continues to watch television, practically ignoring Bucky’s presence. 

Bucky turns off the t.v, “Hey, look at me. Lee, what is going on with you? You have not been acting yourself all night.”

“And how the hell would you know?!” she snaps, jumping off the couch to face him. “How the hell would you know I have not been myself when you were so far up Natasha’s ass I couldn’t tell where one ends and the other begins!”

Bucky quickly follows, “What are you talking about?” 

Ainslee does not know if he really is that clueless or just in denial. 

“You cannot be serious Bucky. You spent the whole time that I was there with Natasha. Every time there is some kind of gathering and you invite me, I am left alone and you are off with Natasha.”

“So I have to spend all of my time with you?! I cannot talk to my friends anymore?! You are just jealous.”

“That is not what I am saying Bucky! I like Nat, I am not jealous of her. My point is that every time there is some type of get together with the other Avengers and you invite me, you leave me to go be with Natasha. It has not just happened once, but every damn time! And it is not like you leave to go off with Steve or Sam or Clint, it is always Natasha, just her. If you want to spend all of your time with Natasha why even have me around? Better yet, if you would rather be with Natasha, why are you even dating me?”  
Her voice trails off, it hurt to say that out loud. Worry fills her at what his response might be.

“Oh don't be ridiculous! There is nothing between Nat and I. It is all in the past. You are overthinking everything. We are just friends, and it is easier to talk to her than you because she understands more than you do. You are not an an Avenger, you cannot even fight so how could you possibly understand what we talk about or how could you even help me out after a tough mission like Natasha can?” Bucky barks out.

Ouch. That, that really hurt; Ainslee can feel the tears sting her eyes. Bucky does not seem to realize that what he said cut her to the core. 

“Is that how you really feel Bucky?” she asks, “That I am basically useless and offer nothing to help you? I thought that because I wasn't a part of that world, being with me was an escape. To have someone not tainted by violence and death. At least that is what you told me. I guess that was not true.”

“Ainslee, that is not what I meant.”

“So what did you mean?”

He lets out a loud groan, running his hands through his hair in aggravation. 

“You are twisting my words. Sometimes it is just nice to talk to someone with similar experiences that I do. Someone with a similar past as I. Natasha and I are just friends. That is it, nothing more, so stop trying to make it seem like there is something else going on!”

She stands there watching him, listening to his words, hearing how his voice changes when he talks about Natasha. She can hear how defensive he is becoming. But more than that she hears how he almost sounds disappointed in saying they are just friends. Ainslee shakes her head,

“Who are you really trying to convince James? Me or yourself that there is nothing going on between you two?”

“Ainslee, please.”

“If there was ever a situation where you had to save either Natasha or I, who would you save? If either of us were hurt, who would you go to first? Knowing that Natasha is trained to handle any situation you put her in, and I am not, who would you go to?”

Bucky voice gets caught in his throat. He is so thrown off by her questions he does not know what to say. 

She closes her eyes to hide the tears, and turns away from him, “I do not want to make you pick, or try and tell you to stop being friends with Natasha because I am not the petty type and I really do like her. But I need to know where you stand in this relationship or if there even is one anymore. I think that maybe it would be best for you to leave now James. I need some time alone, and I think that you need to do some thinking for yourself.”

“Ainslee…”

It does not escape his notice how she called him James. She never calls him James, not even when she is mad at him. He watches her walk to her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. He sighs, running his flesh hand down his face. It does not seem they will be getting this resolved today, so he may as well leave. 

Bucky exits her apartment with a heavy mind and a heavy heart. There is no way that what she said had any truth behind it. Nothing was going on between Natasha and him, they were simply friends. That is all there is to it. Ainslee is simply making things up out of jealousy. He will give her a few days to cool off and then they will talk. Bucky convinces himself that Ainslee is just jealous and she will come to her senses in a few days. She will see that Bucky is not in the wrong. He just needs to give her a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

The days pass by and there is zero contact between Ainslee and Bucky. Neither makes a single attempt nor show any sign in even wanting to see or talk to the other. Ainslee keeps to herself mostly, going about her day to day life like nothing has changed. The only time she lets on that the situation is getting to her is when she’s caught staring at pictures of Bucky on her phone. 

As for Bucky, well…

Wanda is the only person that Ainslee has any interaction with. She is there for Ainslee, being a shoulder to lean on when needed. Wanda is the only one who knows fully of when went down between Ainslee and Bucky. And unfortunately for Wanda, she does know everything, on both sides.

“Wanda, I know you are hiding something from me. You might as well just tell me. The longer you hold out, the more it will hurt in the end. Just rip the bandaid off in one go and it will hurt less.”

Ainslee says, sitting across from Wanda as a cafe, giving the younger woman a pointed look. They were having lunch together, but it was rather quiet since the younger woman refuses to look at Ainslee and was barely speaking. A clear give away that she was trying to keep a secret from Ainslee.

Wanda shakes her head, saying nothing. She does not want to be the one to hurt Ainslee more.

“Wanda… It is about Bucky isn’t it?”

She slowly nods her head. Ainslee sighs, 

“Fine,” she says, “just tell me. At this point, I do not think there is anything else Bucky can do to hurt me. I am pretty sure that our relationship is over, just need to hear the words.”

Wanda still remains silent. She knows that Ainslee is trying to be strong about this, but is still in love with Bucky. What Wanda knows would shatter her completely.

“Alright, just answer me this, because I think I have the right to know. Is Bucky sleeping with Natasha?”

Finally, Wanda turns her gaze up, a remorseful look in her eyes. “I am sorry Ainslee. But I caught them together, they did not know I was there and I saw them…”

Ainslee takes a shaky breath. She expected the answer, but that does not mean she is ready for it. Tears fill her eyes, but she forces them back. All she can do is nod her head. No words will form, as she lets the fact that her boyfriend, no ex-boyfriend, really has been cheating on her this whole time.

Wanda reaches across the table to cover Ainslee’s hand, “I am so sorry.”

“It is not your fault Wanda. There is nothing that you can…”

Ainslee is cut off by a loud explosion that shakes the whole cafe,

“What the hell?!”

“Ainlee, stay here!” Wanda orders, taking off to find the source of the explosion. Soon another follows, and another. People began screaming, running around trying to get away. Ainslee cannot just sit by and watch people get hurt. 

She runs outside and is floored by what she sees. The Avengers are out fighting an enemy that she is unable to explain. She scans around her, and quickly makes her choice, she is going to help no matter what. 

“Ainslee, get back in the cafe! Now!” Bucky shouts at her once he sees her still in the streets as he continues fighting off another attack.

“No! I am not as useless as you think I am James. If I can help in any way possible then I will!”

Not allowing him to respond, Ainslee takes off running. She tries to help as many people into safety as possible. Though she might not be trained, she is calm and level headed, just what is needed in this situation. She works on getting people off of the street, away from the fighting.

She takes notice of Natasha near her, doing her best to fight off attacks, but was slowly becoming outnumbered. If Natasha can be overwhelmed, then Aislee stands no chance. She gets the last civilians that she can find into safety. Before she is able to take shelter herself, she is thrown back into the middle of the fighting by another explosion.

“Ainslee, you need to get out of here!” Steve’s voice booming in a loud command. 

“I am trying Captain, trust me!” She gasps for breath, the air knocked out of her. 

Standing slowly, she stumbles out off to the side, her vision blurry from hitting her head. She is not exactly sure where she is or which way to go, but a voice catches her attention.

“Natasha!”

Bucky belts out, running right past Ainslee to get to Natasha and pulling her out of the way of an oncoming blast. Ainslee just stands there, feeling her heart break in two and time slows. Now she knows the truth, now she knows how Bucky really feels and who he truly loves. 

Her eyes lock with Bucky’s icy blue eyes, giving him a small smile. She opens her mouth to speak, but is unable. The blast that Bucky saved Natasha from hits Ainslee right in the chest and the last image she sees is Bucky’s eyes staring at her in terror as her world goes dark.

“NO! Ainslee!”

Wanda’s voice echos, times seems to stands still. Power surges from her knocking out all that opposed the Avengers. Moving faster than she ever had before, she rushes to Ainslee’s side, 

“It is alright, you will be alright. Please Ains, stay with me, you have to stay with me.” Wanda begs, covering the wound on Ainslee’s chest to try and stop the bleeding. 

“Wanda, we have to get her to the hospital. The police can handle everything from her. Come in.” Steve insist, moving Wanda so that the EMT’s can get to Ainslee. 

“Why?! Why would you let her get hurt!” Wanda screams at Bucky, her fingers sizzles with the urge to use her powers against him.

They stand in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting to hear some type of news about Ainslee. 

“But Natasha…” Bucky mutters.

“Nat was fine Bucky! She had the situation handled! She is trained to handle that sort of situation, Ainslee is not! Ainslee is the one that needed your help, she is the one that is now in the hospital and might not make it! Nat has just a few scratches and bruises, she is fine, she was fine anyway. You let a civilian, you let Ainslee, your GIRLFRIEND, get hurt just to go help someone who did not need you.” Wanda shouts at the super soldier. “So I hope you are happy, Natasha will live but Ainslee might not. And if she does, how are going to explain your actions and reasoning to her on how you let you nearly die?”

Wanda does not give him a chance to answer. She storms off to find a doctor to ask for an update on Ainslee. She leaves Bucky, Steve, and Sam in a stunned silence. Clint is the first one to recover, clearing his throat,

“I’ll go check on Wanda.”

Steve turns to his friend with a disappointed look on his face, “How long have you and Natasha been together?”

“Like I told Ainslee, Natasha and I are not…”

“Oh don't give me that bullshit Buck! We all see it! We see how close you two are, how much time you spend together, even when Ainslee is around all of your focus is on Natasha. Why string Ainslee along like that if you are in love with Nat?”

Bucky does not have an answer, there is nothing that he could possibly say. He glances over at Sam who has his arms crossed and glaring at him.

“Something you would like to add?”

Sam shrugs, giving a shake of his head, “Nothing I say is going to make a different or make you suddenly see the light. But I am wondering, how much of an asshole are you going to be when Ainslee wakes up? You going to break up with her right away to be with Nat, or is guilty conscious going to kick in and you help take care of her and only stay with her because you almost got her killed? My money's on you being a major dick and breaking up with her after you help her heal because you’re still going to be fucking around with Nat during Ainslee’s recovery. Hell this is all going off the assumption she even makes it.”

“Sam!” Steve growls out a warning.

“What? You were thinking it too. I am just not afraid to say it out loud.” he snaps back.

Bucky throws his hands in the air, “Why does this all fall back on me?! I did not see any of you rushing to help her!”

Sam gets right up in his face, “Because you were closer to her! You were right there! And yet you did nothing! You went to someone who would have been fine whether you stepped in or not and you know it!”

“Sam! Stop it!” Steve yells, pulling him away from Bucky.

Sam just walks off in the same direction as Clint and Wanda. Steve gives Bucky one last looks and follows behind Sam. 

Bucky collapses into one of the chairs in the waiting room, covering his face with his hands. A hard breath escapes. He is at a complete loss, the events of the day running through his head. The image of Ainslee getting shot in the chest right before his eyes plays over and over again. 

Wanda, Steve, Sam, they were all right. It was his fault she got hurt. He ran right to Natasha, standing there hold her to him, and they both just watched as Ainslee is taken down. He is never going to forget how she just stares at him, eyes locked on his as she takes the hit. The look in her eyes as she falls to the ground will haunt him forever.

Natasha walks out to the waiting room, a bandage on her head. She takes a seat next to Bucky and lightly places her hand on his back. 

“Bucky…”

He looks up, a smile tugging at his lips. He reaches up with one hand, lightly touching her head.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine...I’ve had worse. You know that; you caused most of my worse.”

He scoffs, “Yeah, well, still doesn’t mean I want to see you hurt in any way.” 

Natasha does not say anything to that, instead changing the subject slightly, “How is Ainslee? Any word?”

Bucky shakes his head, “No, Wanda and the others went to see if they could find anything out. After they chewed me out.”

“Why,” she starts but pauses to rethink how to word her question, “why did you help me instead of Ainslee?”

“I-I don’t know Nat. I did not really think, I just acted. I saw you in trouble and…” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

“I had the situation under control.”

“I know Nat!” Bucky barks out causing her to jump slightly. 

He takes a deep breath before speaking again, “I know that you had it under control. I know that you are able to handle your own, but in that moment, it did not matter. I saw you there and I saw you out numbered and I just reacted. God I swear my heart stopped at the possibility of you being hurt. I could not risk your safety.”

“I would have done the same for you Bucky.” Natasha confesses to him.

This gets him to smile but the smile quickly falls, “Yeah, but you coming to me probably would not have as severe consequences as this.”

“You cannot help who you fall in love with.”

Natasha says, taking Bucky’s hand in hers. He gives her hand a small squeeze, leaning over and placing a kiss on her forehead. Natasha nuzzles into him before they sit back but not letting go of the others hands.

“Maybe not.” Bucky replies, “But I could have handled the situation with Ainslee better. And now, I don’t know if I will be able to make things right with her. No really how I would do that anyway.” he says with regret in his voice. 

Natasha remains silent. They just sit there holding hands in comfort. Some time later their team mates come back into the waiting room, glancing at the pair but say nothing. Wanda glares and moves to sit as far away from them as possible. Clint tries to comfort her as best as possible. Steve and Sam keep company with Wanda and Clint.  
Some time later, a doctor comes into the waiting room.

“Family of Carter, Ainslee?”

Wanda rushes to the doctor, “Is she alright?” 

Bucky, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Clint gather around, anxious to learn of Ainslee’s condition.

The doctor lets out a tired sigh, “Miss Carter’s injury were extensive, we did every thing that we could and in the end she…”

A light breeze rustles in the trees. Bucky stands alone on the grassy hill, staring down. Eyes red with unshed tears, he feels a little sick to his stomach. He does not want to be here, but he feels he owes it to Ainslee; if she even wants him around any more after…

A strangled sob forces it's way pass his lips. He cannot do this, he has to leave, now.

“I am so sorry Ainslee! So, so sorry.” Bucky rushes away, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

There in the place Bucky once stood is a simple plaque reading

“Ainslee Carter 1988-2016 a daughter, a friend, and a hero. May she rest in peace.”


End file.
